Maybe you should confront her, and see how she [...]]]> Photo by Pipiten

Is She Working Late or Cheating?
Your wife said she had to finish up some things at the office. Do you believe her? Or could it be that she is dancing the night away with another man while you’re at home taking care of the kids?

Maybe you should confront her, and see how she reacts. But then again, what kind of marriage do you have if you don’t have trust?

And, honestly, if she is cheating, do you really want to know? It may be easier to just hope for the best. It may also be very naive.

Perhaps you’ve just seen too many movies. Too many made-for-TV dramas about cheaters.

But if you catch yourself wanting to punch a hole in the wall every time you think about it, or if your stomach is constantly churning, your mind racing, then it may be time to talk about it—before you make yourself ill.

Photo by pedrosimoes7

So Happy Before Your Wife’s Affair
The two of you were so in love. It seemed you were made for each other. Your wedding day was the happiest day of your life. Hers too.

At least you thought so.

But maybe after a few years she began to get bored with you. Why didn’t she say something?

Sure, you come home tired most nights. You work hard. Sometimes you’re irritable.

But you still love her with all your heart.

Do you sometimes drink too much? Do you yell at her? Do you take her for granted?

But wait, you say. “She’s the one cheating. I’m being faithful. I’ve never cheated on her. And I never would. How could she do this to me? She must not love me anymore. I might as well call a divorce lawyer.”

Photo by pedrosimoes7

Can Your Marriage Be Saved?
The two of you had planned to spend the rest of your lives together. Happily ever after.

Now you wonder if there even is such a thing. Perhaps a marriage counselor could help.

But many men think they don’t need help. They’re self-made men. Do-it-yourself guys. They don’t need any outsiders telling them what they’re doing wrong.

And they just know the marriage counselor is going to turn it around on them. Sure, the wife is having the affair, but, hey, it’s the husband’s fault.

If he had been more attentive, more loving, well, then she wouldn’t have been forced to look elsewhere for attention.

You can just hear it.

But if you truly love your wife and you really want to save your marriage, wouldn’t you be willing to do whatever it takes?

Photo by battlecreekcvb

Try thinking about it in terms you’re more comfortable with, such as sports.

The clock is running down. Your team is losing by one point. The play calls for you to drive the basketball all the way to the hole.

You know the other team is going to be all over you, but you’re determined to either make the two points or get fouled.

Their center is an excellent shot blocker, and he’s a foot taller than you. You run straight at him with all your might, knowing it might put you in the hospital.

But you just don’t care how badly you get hurt. You’re committed.

So, do the same thing for your marriage. Take one for the team. Don’t worry about looking like a fool. Go all out.

Photo by pedrosimoes7

Ask for Help
Get whatever help you need. She’s worth it. Your marriage is worth it.

If it were not, you never would have married her in the first place.

Take action before it’s too late.

Be happy again.

You just pick the most attractive person with the best job and the ideal family situation, i.e., number/age/gender of kids, etc. Then you click the BUY button.

When you first start out [...]]]> Photo by robholland

Shopping for Love
Once you’ve selected an online dating service, you’re ready to shop for love. At least that’s what it feels like.

You just pick the most attractive person with the best job and the ideal family situation, i.e., number/age/gender of kids, etc. Then you click the BUY button.

When you first start out it seems that easy. You think you can just choose your perfect match by reading an online dating profile—much the way you might select food items based on their nutrition labels.

Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer

Profiles are great. They give you a photo, age, marital status, a list of interests, etc. But realize this:

EVERYBODY IS LYING.

Or at least exaggerating. The question is: how much?

The Online Dating Profile Photo
Is their photo recent? Probably not. But one thing that you can be reasonable certain of: it’s their best photo. And it may have been taken before they gained 50 pounds. Or before their hair went gray—or disappeared altogether.

It’s only natural for people to want to look their best. After all, they’re selling themselves. (Whether they want you as a customer remains to be seen.)

Photo by Mickael Casol

The profile picture makes the first impression. And it may be their first and last chance to grab your attention.

It’s not like when you meet someone in person. You can’t dazzle them with a funny joke or by the way you smile. That profile picture has got to work magic. In some cases, miracles.

And there’s a lot at stake. Suppose you are interested in two members. Member #1 has a better picture, so you make a date with them.

Member #2 is actually the more attractive one in person, but more importantly, Member #2 is an ideal match for you. But you may never know it.

So, you understand why people use old photos. The competition is fierce, and everybody wants to win.

Photo by heiressanj

Sometimes Older Than They Appear
Jill recently turned 30. She was afraid the 20-somethings would pass her by, so she lied on her profile and said she was 29. After a few dates, when she admitted to 27-year-old Ray that she had lied about her age, he just laughed at her vanity.

Ginger was nearly 40 when she listed her age as 29. Bob thought she was a beautiful woman, and he really liked her. But when he found out she had told a huge fib about her age, he wondered what else she was lying about. Bob eventually dumped Ginger because he just didn’t feel he could trust her.

Photo by jcoterhals

In many cases, you’ll know your online date has lied about their age the moment you meet them. Try to avoid that situation. The right kind of questions, particularly during phone conversations, can elicit the truth—or at least enough hints to tip you off.

You may think it’s no big deal for people to lie about their age. But remember the case of Bob and Ginger, and consider Bob’s concern: If they’re lying about their age, what else are they lying about?

How Many Marriages, How Many Children?
Their dating profile says they are divorced. Is it safe to assume they’ve only been married once? No.

So, how many times have they been married? Does this number include common law marriages (living together), if any?

You can understand why people would hesitate to share these details. And they think that once you get to know them and discover how wonderful they are, these little issues won’t be a problem.

Jerry had been married and divorced four times. For some reason, he’d just had terrible luck finding the right woman. He wasn’t abusive or a neglectful. Jerry was a loving man.

This time he was determined to find the right match. He signed up with one of the many online dating services. In his profile, he stated that he been married twice. Twice…four times—what was the difference?

He really liked Liz’s online profile, and decided to contact her. She was interested too, and after a few emails and phone conversations, they met for a dinner date.

Photo by Natura Paparazzo

Jerry was relating a story about a trip to the Grand Canyon many years ago, when he accidentally mentioned his first wife’s name. Then he had to come clean about his four marriages.

Liz seemed okay with the revelation. But then she excused herself to make a trip to the restroom—and never came back.

Clearly, Jerry shouldn’t have lied on his profile. But Liz could have discovered the truth during a phone conversation if she had asked the right questions.

Maybe she would have also learned of his ten children.

Not So Much Like Shopping for a Mate
So, online dating is really not like shopping at all. It’s more like…being hunted.

Online dating services promise to help you find the man/woman of your dreams. But with so many services available, how do you choose one?

Make the right choice, and you may be on your way to finding your soul mate.

But the [...]]]> Photo by james.rintamaki

It’s a Jungle Out There
You just know your true love is out there somewhere.

Online dating services promise to help you find the man/woman of your dreams. But with so many services available, how do you choose one?

Make the right choice, and you may be on your way to finding your soul mate.

But the wrong move could leave you spinning your wheels.

Here are some tips to help you make the right choice.

Online Dating Service Checklist

Do They Offer a Free Trial Search?
The service should offer a free search of their members. You will probably have to give some information, like your name and email address, before you can search.

Don’t be put off by this. Think about it: once you’re a member of an online dating service, do you really want anybody and everybody anonymously looking through your profile? Requiring some personal information upfront scares off most busybodies.

Photo by space.Boy

Afraid to give your email address for fear that you’ll get spammed to death? There’s an easy solution: set up a free email account on Yahoo or Gmail to use just for this purpose.

Is the Search Too Generic?
What is the point of a free search of your entire state? Or of the entire country?

And if you’re interested in finding someone in their thirties, why would you want to see members in their 20s or 50s?

If the service does not provide a more advanced search which includes zip code and age range, then mark it off your list.

Photo by Ardent Photography

Are the Search Results Legitimate?
Do the search results seem too good to be true? Do the people all look like models or actors?

That’s because THEY ARE.

Make a note: never return to that website. It’s a waste of time. (And money, if they can sucker you into a paid membership.)

Do They Have Enough Members?
No matter how great the website, search capability, pricing, etc., if they don’t have many members in your area, what’s the point?

But suppose you find just the person you’ve been looking for? At least you think so, judging by their picture and profile. Then go ahead. Take a chance.

But just keep in mind that it probably won’t work out. It might. But statistically, don’t hold your breath. Chances are, you’ll have to date for a while before you find THE ONE.

If you see a dozen or so possible matches in the area where you live, then it’s probably worth your time and money to sign up and give it a shot.

Just because you don’t see possibilities for yourself that doesn’t mean the particular dating service is not a good one. It’s just not right for you.

Do They Let You Choose Your Own Matches?
Some services will only allow you to see profiles of the people THEY determine are your matches. This is supposed to save you the trouble of searching through dozens or even hundreds of possibilities. They have you take a questionnaire and then find your matches based on your answers.

Photo by I See You

I DON’T LIKE THIS.

When I was online dating a few years ago I could see ALL the members of my service. If I wanted to look at the profiles of women in Florida even though I lived in Texas, that was my prerogative, doggone it.

But you might feel differently. You might prefer leaving it up to the dating service software to find your perfect match. If so, one of these type services could be just want you’re looking for.

Do They Offer a Free Trial Period?
If the service does not offer a free trial period, mark them off your list. And I’m not talking about a few free searches. You need several days to really get familiar with the service and see how it works, and to find out whether they have any members you’d be interested in dating.

If they don’t offer this, it kinda makes you wonder: what are they hiding?

Make that First Click
I met my wife through an online dating service. As of this writing, we’ve been happily married for over six years.

Photo by I See You

I FOUND THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS ONLINE.

But it wasn’t instantaneous. Over a period of sixteen months I tried five different dating services (Gee, that sounds kinda desperate). At that time only a few online dating services existed. Now there are dozens.

Whatever service you choose, I wish you the best in finding your true love.

The road to online dating success starts with the click of a mouse. So, get clicking!

Online dating services [...]]]> In a previous article about online dating I talked about eight types of women that serious men might want to avoid. Now it’s time for the man list. Actually, you may not want to avoid these men. If you’re not looking for a serious relationship, then this list may not apply to you.

Online dating services will connect you with all types of men. And when used effectively, these services can be wonderfully helpful in finding a match. If you just want to date for fun, you should have no trouble finding plenty of willing men.

But if you’re seeking a long-term relationship, you’ll want to beware of these guys:

Sketch by Arden Photography

Charles Coppercuff
Charles is a king in the business world. And if you’re really lucky, you could become his queen. Everything is about his power and authority over his kingdom. You might be impressed with his take charge attitude at first—especially if you’ve grown tired of wishy-washers.

Sir Coppercuff knows exactly what he wants. The only question is whether you are in fact the fair maiden who can meets his stringent requirements. He’s not a player. He truly wants to settle down and have a family with you. Although, you and the heirs you produce may well suffocate within the gates of the royal compound.

Sketch by Arden Photography

Jag McKool
With Jag, it’s all about his car…and his penthouse…and his huge salary. It doesn’t matter whether he’s good-looking or interesting or funny. He has loads of money, and he knows women will flock to him.

He couldn’t care less about a real relationship. Sure, you’ll be fun to have around for a while. But let’s face it—Jag will never love you as much as he loves his car. And he’ll only love his car until the new model comes out.

Photo by Todd Ehlers

Barney Bearbulge
You love the feel of Barney’s large, firm muscles. Hopefully he’s the non-violent type, since he could break you like a twig.

His offer to ‘pump you up’ sounds good. You’ve been wanting to get into shape. So, you start working out with him. Half your dates are at the gym.

Now the two of you stroll along the beach, showing off your hot bods. But will you ever really feel secure about his love? Or will you worry that an even hotter babe will come along and kick away your sandcastle love?

Sketch by indiamos

D.O. Already
D.O. has had more than his share of dating disappointments. In fact, he’s already pretty much given up.

If you really like him, and think he has potential, then go ahead—give him mouth to mouth and try to bring him back to life.

Just be sure you don’t accidentally inhale his mummified air.

Photo by libraryimages.net

Ricky Peedia
At first you’re impressed with Ricky’s vast knowledge. It’s fun to show him off at parties—like a new iPhone.

Being with Ricky is like walking around with a human encyclopedia—which is kinda cool…until the first time he makes you look like a fool.

Sketch by Mike Dakinewavamon

Dane Bestbud
In your online dating profile requirements, you stated “Must Love Dogs.” Well, be careful what you wish for.

Dane does love his dog. He loves him so much that he sleeps with him and French kisses him—in front of you.

However, if this doesn’t bother you, then maybe you two will make a perfect match.

Photo by tsevis

Michael Mystique
His mysterious personality is almost hypnotic. Everything he says has a hidden meaning. You have no idea what he’s talking about, but it sounds cool. You sometimes wonder if he can read your mind.

But when you question him regarding his interest in having kids, he goes off on a tangent about children starving in other galaxies.

After a while you realize he’s never going to give you a straight answer about anything.

Sketch by strautniekas

Oliver Overhill
He’s a very nice man. You just wish he hadn’t lied in his online profile. He’s way too old for you.

Sure, he’s a kind, caring person. And he’d like nothing better than to take care of you for the rest of his life—however short that life may be.

Perhaps you’d like to quit your job and be a stay-at-home mom. No problem. Oliver would love that.

Just be sure you can handle it when everyone thinks you’re his daughter.

Photo by libraryimages.net

Gil Goldenway
It’s a wonder Gil is even online. A friend or family member must have set up his account, because Gil hates technology.

He refuses to own a computer or even a cell phone. The old phonograph still works great. Who needs a CD player?

Gil believes in honor, faith, strength, and family. You really admire those qualities.

So, go for it, if you really believe you can adapt to his horse and buggy world.

After the dissolution of my first [...]]]> Sketch by Arden Photography

This post is for people who are serious about finding their true love, their soul mate. And though it’s told from a man’s point of view, much of it works from the women’s point of view as well. And most of it also applies to off-line dating.

After the dissolution of my first marriage, I began to use various online dating services. About eighteen months into it, I met my wife online. We have been very happily married for nearly six years. So, naturally, I am a proponent of online dating agencies. I gained a few insights from my experience, which I will now share with you.

If you are a man who is interested in finding true love through an internet dating service, I would suggest that you avoid the following eight types of women. Unfortunately, it may take a while to realize you’re dating one of them.

Sketch by Arden Photography

8. Mandy Maiditup
Her online dating profile indicates she is financially sound. In truth, she’s broke. She claims to have been married only once, even though her fifth divorce has just been finalized.

She opens the door and you mistake her for her mother. That’s when you realize her profile picture is at least fifteen years old. She’s lying about everything. Get out of there—fast.

7. Felicity Funisall
Felicity is so much fun. The two of you are having a ball. Then you bring up the subject of marriage. Suddenly she can’t go out as often. She’s making all kinds of excuses.

You just don’t get it. In her online dating profile she said she was interested in a serious relationship. Was she lying? Maybe. But she might not have done it intentionally. Some women think they are interested in marriage, but when the relationship approaches it, they freak out.

Sketch by Arden Photography

6. Honey Heartbreaker
Honey loves you dearly. And she really wants to marry you. But she just can’t. She doesn’t even know why. You’ll never know why either. Move on.

5. Cindy Setinerways
Cindy’s profile says she wants marriage and a family. She wants the “white picket fence.” But she also wants to hold on to what she’s got. She wants to live in her house, drive her car, manage her finances, make decisions by herself.

Watch for signs that she’s beginning to resent your ever more intrusive migration into her world.

Sketch by Arden Photography

4. Penny Spenditall
For Penny, it’s all about money. Your money. She has little of her own. If she has a job, her salary is low, and she’d really like to quit so she can be a full-time wife and mom. She even says so right there in her profile.

You don’t necessarily want to avoid a woman just because she has a low-paying job. Just make sure she really loves you, and not just your money.

Sketch by Arden Photography

3. Kate Kidzlekilya
Kate just might be your soul mate. But she’s got teenagers. And their father is doing everything he can to make them hate you. But you figure, worst case scenario, they’ll grow up and move out in a few years.

If the father finally cuts you some slack, things might work out okay. But your new marriage might well crash and burn in the meantime.

2. Cher Champagne
Cher loves fairytale endings. She dreams of a magnificent wedding, followed by a glorious honeymoon in the Caribbean. But then what? She’s never seriously thought about it. If she can’t even imagine everyday married life, the marriage isn’t likely to last. The only thing that will fulfill her dreams is another wedding—to another man.

Sketch by Arden Photography

1. Kris Krazieclan
Kris is wonderful. And she truly loves you and wants to marry you.

But her brother likes to cut Harley donuts in your manicured lawn and spit chewing tobacco in your kitchen sink. Her sister hits on you at family gatherings. Her mother guzzles whiskey while criticizing everything you do. And the rest of her family is really annoying.

But you love her with all your heart. Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Maybe you two could move out of state.

How about you? Got any advice you’d like to share? Any horror stories?