Why not be happy right now? What are you waiting for?

“I’m too busy right now with school,” you say. “I’ll be happy when I graduate.”

Or, “Happiness is for the successful. I’ll be happy once I have a lot of [...]]]> Photo by Amy Loves Yah

Are you happy? If not, do you hope to be happy some day?

Why not be happy right now? What are you waiting for?

“I’m too busy right now with school,” you say. “I’ll be happy when I graduate.”

Or, “Happiness is for the successful. I’ll be happy once I have a lot of money.”

Really? Are you sure about that?

The Happiness Store

Photo by rynosoft

Mr. Banks spotted the sign from the back seat of his limo. “Stop!”

His chauffeur pulled over to the curb, got out and rushed around to open the door for his boss.

Mr. Banks stepped out and stood for a moment, studying the large sign above the entrance:

THE HAPPINESS STORE.

He went into the store and walked up to the counter. “I want to buy some happiness. And give me the very best you’ve got.”

Photo by Photo2217

“I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t sell happiness.”

“Then why do you call it The Happiness Store?”

“Because we store happiness.”

“You store it, but you don’t sell it.”

“Correct.”

“Well, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. How can you store happiness?”

“I’m sorry, Sir, but I can’t tell you that. It’s proprietary technology.”

Mr. Banks scowled at the clerk, and then turned and walked toward the exit. What a scam, he thought.

A young man blocked his path. “I may be able to help you,” he whispered.

“Get out of my way.”

“You want happiness, right?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Well, I can sell you a share of happiness.”

Mr. Banks was intrigued.

“But I’ll need cash.”

“I might be interested.”

“Follow me.” He took Mr. Banks to a back room and closed the door. “Please have seat, Sir.”

Photo by andronicusmax

The young man sat down behind a large laptop and began to type and click—apparently hacking into the system.

Mr. Banks didn’t care—as long as he got what he wanted.

“Okay, here we go. This guy is happy because his doctor told him he has 18 months to live. I can give you a good price on a share of his happiness.”

“Why is he happy? He’s about to die.”

“I don’t know. But this data is extremely accurate, Sir. I can assure you of that. So, what do you think?”

“I would be happy for 18 months?”

“Yes.”

Photo by Robert S. Donovan

“Well, I guess that would do. Then I’d just come back and buy another share.”

“No, Sir. That’s not how it works.”

“You mean it’s a one-shot deal?”

“That’s correct.”

“So, I’ll be happy for 18 months and that’s it.”

“Yes, Sir. And then you die.”

“What?!”

“You get exactly the same experience as this man. When he first found out he had cancer, he was told he had less than three months to live. Later his doctor revised it to 18 months.”

“So, I’d get cancer and die. Well, if that’s the best you can do for me, then I’d rather go on being miserable.” He stood up.

“Wait,” said the young man, typing and clicking furiously. “How about this guy? He inherited millions.”

Mr. Banks sat back down. “This could work for me.”

“Looks like he wasted his fortune and ended up living on the street.”

“I should have known.”

“But after a few months, he found happiness.”

“How? By becoming a self-made man?” Mr. Banks perked up. “Yeah, I’ll bet he started his own company and became wealthy again. I could that—I think. Although I don’t know about living on the street…”

“No, you’ve got it all wrong. He didn’t become wealthy again. He’s working at an auto repair shop. Says he loves it.”

“This is nuts,” said Mr. Banks, as he got up to walk out. “I’ll find my own happiness.”

But he never did.

Photo by Amy Loves Yah

A little girl is standing in the yard, blowing bubbles. Sometimes when she blows into the soapy membrane it just pops. But other times her breath launches an array of multicolored bubbles of various sizes.

You observe the sheer joy in her face as she watches the bubbles float through the air. This is what you’ve been looking for.

You rush up to her and place a $100 bill in her small hand.

Now they’re your bubbles. You will finally be happy. You attempt to gather your purchase. But each bubble pops the instant you touch it.

Happiness is elusive. But it’s not complicated.

Photo by Robert S. Donovan

The little girl was happy because of the bubbles.

Later she’ll be happy because it’s time to eat lunch. Then she’ll be happy when someone makes her laugh. She’s happy most of the time—and she’s not even trying.

Maybe that’s your problem—you’re trying to hard.

Perhaps you’re so busy seeking happiness in success, fame, and riches that you’re completely ignoring the beautiful bubbles floating all around you.

So, quit saving up for happiness. It’s already right in front of you.

Enjoy.

There were lots of good reasons to wait, but the [...]]]> Photo by Shockie

The hit song from the 1970′s, “Love the One You’re With,” was all about “free love,” or more accurately, free sex. Why wait until you find some mythical ‘true love?’ You’re with somebody right now, so why wait? Just go ahead and do it.

There were lots of good reasons to wait, but the flower children of the time were not listening to any of them.

But this post is not about a fling with some casual acquaintance. It’s about your longest running relationship. It’s about whether you truly love the one who has always been there, through the best times and the worst times:

Photo by fedewild

YOURSELF.

Until you really and truly love yourself, you’re never going to attain your full potential of lovability. Why would anyone else find you lovable if you can’t even love yourself?

“I do love myself,” you may say. “That’s why I treat myself to the finest restaurants, wear the latest fashions, and drive the coolest car.”

If that’s how you love yourself, then you’re doing it wrong.

Once you learn to love yourself, you’ll find that you have plenty of love left over for others. And the more love you show toward others, the more you’ll be shown. There’s no formula. It’s not an exact science. But that’s just the way it works.

Photo by Pink Sherbet Photography

Hate Repels Love
Deborah was excited about her first date with Mark. He was tall, handsome, charming, and he had a good career.

But all night she kept thinking about how slutty she was. Why had she jumped right into bed with that slick-talking guy she’d met in a bar? It had happened almost a year ago, but she still couldn’t get past it.

I don’t deserve a great guy like Mark, she thought. Perhaps she would always feel too trashy to be with any decent man.

Deborah’s first date with Mark was also the last. Not because of her past. But because she could not forgive herself for one night of bad judgement.

Deborah was a very attractive young woman, and Mark really liked her. But she hated herself, and he could sense it. And that’s what killed any chances for what might have developed into a wonderful relationship.

Photo by CharlotWest

Love Attracts Love
As an overweight teenager, Millie had been the constant butt of cruel jokes. But her mother had encouraged Millie to love herself no matter what, while gently prodding her to improve her eating habits.

Slowly but surely, Millie trimmed down, knowing all the while that even if she ever gained back her weight, she would still love herself.

Dave fell in love with Millie on their first date. Their personalities were a perfect match. But that alone is never enough. It was the love radiating from Millie that won his heart.

They had been dating for only a few months when Dave asked Millie marry him.

Because Millie had learned to truly love herself, a deep, loving relationship with Dave just came naturally.

Love Repels Hate
(Or at least it should)
It’s difficult to love yourself when a ‘friend’ keeps giving you reasons to hate yourself.

Photo by DavidDennisPhotos.com

“I hear you finally got a job,” said Michael.

“Yeah,” said Craig, “I started yesterday at the pancake house.”

“What have they got you doing? Busing tables?” Michael snickered.

“Yeah. But it’s only temporary.”

“Then what? You’ll be a waiter?”

“Yeah. Probably in a few weeks,” said Craig.

“What a stupid deadend job, Man.”

“Well, I’ve got to start somewhere. And besides, it’s good training. I’m gonna have my own restaurant some day.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“No, really. That’s what I want to do.”

“Craig, you’re an idiot.”

Will Craig ever have his own restaurant? Not if he keeps hanging out with Michael.

Right now Craig has a positive attitude. He loves himself and enjoys what he’s doing. But if he listens to Michael, his self-love may turn into self-loathing. Then he’ll give up his dream and be miserable.

In Summary

• Hate Repels Love
  • It’s difficult to love others when you hate yourself.
  • You’re unlovable (to some degree) if you hate yourself.
• Love Attracts Love
  • When you love yourself, it’s easy to love others.
  • When you love yourself, it’s easy for others to love you.
• Love Repels Hate (Or it should)
  • When you love yourself, you want to love others, but don’t let hate bring you down.
  • It you can’t help the hater to see the light, end the relationship before you’re dragged into the darkness.

Bottom Line: Love the One You’re With: YOURSELF

Because it FEELS SO GOOD.

Do you know what I’m talking about? Then you may well be ADDICTED TO ANGER.

It makes you superhuman. All-powerful. It’s more seductive than any beer buzz or drug high. And it [...]]]> Drawing by JelleS

The Sheer Power of Anger
Why do people lose their temper? Why do they let anger control their behavior?

Because it FEELS SO GOOD.

Do you know what I’m talking about? Then you may well be ADDICTED TO ANGER.

It makes you superhuman. All-powerful. It’s more seductive than any beer buzz or drug high. And it will destroy your life.

At the weekly meeting Harry was scheduled to make his presentation right after Eddie’s. But his heart sunk when he saw that Eddie had stolen his idea. Harry had mentioned the idea at lunch one day. Eddie was a good friend. Harry really believed he could be trusted.

When Eddie finished, Harry lied, telling his manager that he was not ready, and asked if he could postpone his presentation.

After the meeting, Harry went back to his cubicle and let his anger brew. How dare Eddie steal his idea? The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. Now the adrenaline began to kick in. He could feel the power coursing through his veins.

Harry stormed down to Eddie’s cubicle. “I thought I could trust you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You stole my presentation.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“I told you about that idea a couple of weeks ago.”

Drawing by JelleS

“It was just an idea. You hadn’t done anything with it. And, quite frankly, I didn’t think you were going to,” said Eddie. “You’re always coming up with ideas, but you never follow through. So, I decided to run with it.”

Harry gritted his teeth as he pointed his finger at Eddie. “You’re a back-stabbing cheater. And you’re not gonna get away with it.” He stomped off.

After going home for lunch, Harry went looking for Eddie. He found him at the coffee pot. “I hear you already got the promotion.”

“Yes, I did.” Eddie smiled. “Finally.”

“That was MY promotion. You don’t deserve it, you lying snake.”

“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, Harry, but—what are you doing? Take it easy, Buddy. Now just put that thing away.”

Harry’s entire body throbbed with power. He could have ripped Eddie apart with his bare hands. “Nobody cheats me.” He squeezed the trigger.

Once Harry’s rage subsided, the power quickly drained from his body, and the horrible realization of what he had done began to sink in. He heard his co-workers mumbling in the distance. The police would arrive shortly.

Harry turned the gun on himself.

Drawing by JelleS

Jenny loved her little family. All around the house were dozens of pictures of her one-year-old son, Clay.

But Jenny was a strict disciplinarian. She intended to raise her son just like her daddy raised her and her brothers.

She was watching a movie on TV when she suddenly realized that Clay had wandered out of the living room. She found her son in the master bedroom, diaper off, finger painting the carpet with the contents of his diaper.

Jenny was furious. “You little pig—that carpet is brand new.” Her anger escalated quickly. She snatched up Clay—the way her father had done it to her so many times. In her rage-empowered hands, the child felt as light as a feather.

Jenny shook him violently. Clay began to cry. Then she yelled at him again. Clay cried louder. Jenny threw the boy against the wall with all her might. It felt so good.

Clay’s little body lay lifeless on the floor.

A tidal wave of guilt and horror gushed over Jenny. She collapsed to her knees, devastated.

“But I can’t help getting angry,” you say, “he wrecked my car.”

It’s okay to get angry. But you must stay in control of your emotions. Remember: it’s just a car. What’s more important: a car or your son? Punishment may well be deserved. But think about it rationally. Do not lose your temper.

Drawing by JelleS

Anger Control Strategy: Imagine the Future
Consider what’s going to happen if you let yourself go over to the dark side. Once the adrenaline kicks in, the demon takes control.

So, every time you feel your anger beginning to burn, think about where it could lead. What will happen if you let it play out? Picture it in your mind. See the future. Regret what you’re going to do—before you do it, while you still have control. Now change your future.

When your rage has passed, and the damage is done, you’ll be sorry for what you’ve become.

Don’t let it happen. Play it cool. Save your life—don’t be a fool.

The following is a list of the reasons people fail. The good news [...]]]> Photo by Triotex

I hate to be negative, particularly since this blog is supposed to be about success and motivation. I’m just trying to save you time, money and frustration. Many people say they want to learn to play the guitar. Few succeed.

The following is a list of the reasons people fail. The good news is that if you can honestly go through this list and acknowledge that none of these reasons apply to you, then you have a good shot at success.

I have a Bachelor of Music degree as well as graduate music studies. I taught music for a number of years before turning to computer science and writing.

Photo by Joanna-M

1. You Ain’t Got Rhythm
Actually, the problem is the lack of a steady beat in your head. This is important for all musicians, not just guitarists. For example, Common Time (4/4), has four beats per measure. If your internal metronome is out of whack, you’ll lose track of the beat. The rest of the band and/or your audience is on beat three, but you’ve already raced to beat four. Whether you’re in a rock band or playing solo, this does not make for good music.

Now, if you’re only going to play for yourself, in private, you might be okay. Maybe you won’t know the difference. But otherwise, you’ve got a real problem.

Photo by Rick Harris

2. You’ve Got a Tin Ear
You certainly don’t need perfect pitch, but you will need a good sense of relative pitch. Otherwise it will be difficult to know when you are making mistakes.

Test your ear with this little free online music matching game I created. (You’ll need to use Internet Explorer or Firefox with the IE Tab plugin to play the game.) How did you do? You should be able to score at least “Fair” after a few tries.

3. Your Hands Can’t Handle It
Your hands are going to get sore. You’ll be stressing certain muscles in new and painful ways. And your fingertips will get raw. But if you stick with it long enough, the pain will dissipate and your fingertips will turn hard with calluses.

Photo by Jsome1

And I hope you didn’t want to keep those fingernails on your left hand (assuming you’re right-handed). They’ve got to go. Your fingertips will need to press the strings down firmly against the frets. Long fingernails will prevent you from doing this.

As for the fingernails on your right hand (left hand if you’re playing the guitar left-handed), you don’t have to cut those short if you’re playing with a guitar pick. If you play classical guitar, you’ll need to file them down to just the right length, since classical guitarists typically pick and strum the strings with their fingernails.

Photo by sburke2478

4. You Just Don’t Want it Bad Enough
I got my first guitar in 1963 at age 13. I bought it from a classmate for $7.50. The neck was warped, which put the strings too far off the fingerboard. I cut my fingertips to shreds playing that thing. But I loved every second of it.

At that time there was nothing else in the world I wanted more than to learn to play guitar—except to kiss a girl. But I figured that learning to play the guitar would lead to girl kissing. (I was correct.)

That’s the level of desire you need to learn guitar (or any other musical instrument really). I probably averaged three or four hours a day working at it. I neglected my homework, stayed up way past my bedtime, and drove my sisters crazy.

Are you prepared to make that kind of over-the-top commitment? Admittedly, it’s easier when you’re a teenager. But even as an adult, you’ll find the time if you want it badly enough.

Photo by Tiago Celestino

5. You’ve Got No Songs You’re Dying to Play
Do you have a favorite band or musician? Are you dying to play their music on guitar? Great. You can skip to Reason No. 6.

If not, what are you going to play—after all the work of learning guitar? It’s just no fun unless you have music you really want to perform.

For me it was Beatle songs. I wanted to play every one of their songs exactly the way they played them. I wanted to BE a Beatle. So, my friends and I started a band. The fun times we had became the best memories of my high school years.

Photo by nikkicookiebaker

6. You Don’t Have Money for Guitar Lessons
Can you learn to play the guitar on your own, without guitar lessons? In theory, yes. But it would be difficult. And you’d probably pick up some bad habits that you’d need to unlearn later.

I would advise lining up some type of guitar instruction, whether it’s online guitar lessons or private guitar lessons.

It really depends on your personality. You might feel more comfortable taking lessons online—particularly if scheduling music lessons is a problem. Maybe you work a variable schedule. With online lessons you could proceed at your own pace.

Get home from work at two o’clock in the morning, and want to take your next guitar lesson? No problem.

But some people prefer personal instruction. They need their teacher sitting across from them, to tell them when their fingering is wrong, or that there’s a problem with how they’re strumming or picking.

Photo by rockesty

7. You Don’t Have a Guitar
If you already have a good guitar, and you made it past all the other reasons (for failure) above: congratulations! Line up a guitar teacher or online guitar lesson software and get going!

If you don’t have a guitar or a good one you can borrow, better start shopping. I think it’s better to learn on an acoustic guitar (metal strings or nylon). With an electric guitar there are too many knobs and other controls to distract you.

And there’s the guitar amplifier, effects pedals, and other electric gear. You’re likely to get so caught up in the technology that you forget about learning to actually play.

But, having said that, I’ve known people who learned on an electric guitar with great success, in spite of all the gadgets. So, it is possible.

Did You Pass the Test?
If none of my seven reasons above applied to you, then I believe you will be successful. And I hope you’ll enjoy playing the guitar as much as I do. Now, go for it!